The Stress of the Privileged

It's been a frustrating week. We have to postpone our open house to next weekend because of some paperwork technicalities that we've run into. The idea of shouldering two loans for one more week, delaying our move out of here for one more week and prolonging the state of suspension that we're in for seven more days, is not my idea of fun. Today, the stagers were supposed to come between 9 and 10. At 9:59 my realtor called and said they weren't coming, they're too busy and they're coming tomorrow. This, after sleepless nights of coordinating my nanny, Greyson-care, and other appointments around it so that my child would be minimally affected by strangers walking around our house and potentially making lots of noise. This, after Roque stayed up until the wee hours of the morning moving all our boxes into the fire escape to clear the apartment for them. It was an egregious error and we had a proportional response.

Then, I had a 12pm appointment with a contractor at our new house, and what do you know, the listing agent (who has to let us in) had to go the ER with a bad eye and that appointment got canceled at the last minute too. When I called the contractor to inform him, he was already standing outside our house. I was beyond frustrated.

Being in a state of uncertainty is in itself a kind of torture for me. I know that God is teaching me yet another lesson in letting go and trusting Him. Today I heard on the radio, that God is never late, He is always on time. Things aren't moving as fast as I'd like, but we're alright, it's nothing more than the garden variety of inconvenience and frustrations of daily living. My family is healthy and my loved ones are close. Worrying about renovations and a new home...all of it really is the stress of the privileged. There is nothing to do except accept the state of uncertainty that we're in, get used to the feeling and relinquish control. So that's what I'm learning now, to embrace this feeling of "not knowing", savor the the feeling of sand between my toes and put my hope in the Rock that ultimately lies beneath.