"You!"

I just had one of those moments in motherhood when the realization that your child is irreversibly changing gives you pause. I always ask Ella, "Who loves Ella?" and she used to say, "Mah! Mah!" As I was putting her down for her nap a few minutes ago, I asked her, "Who loves Ella?" and she pointed at me and said, "You!" I held her close and felt my lips purse. There it went, yet another little piece of her babyhood had just floated out of my grasp. I used to ask Greyson the same thing when he was a toddler, "Who loves Greyson?" and he'd say, "Mama dooz!!" One night I asked him before bed, and when he said, "Mama does!" I held my chest and went to write on my blog.

I complain all the time about how my part-time Mommy, part-time designer life requires me to do somersaults in my head. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. As suffocating and overwhelming as they are, these precious days when kids are home and want to be with you all the time don't last very long. We forget that we get them for eighteen short years, and that's it. Very soon, when I ask her, "Who loves Ella?" I'll get an eye roll instead of a spirited "You!" I have to remind myself to be in this moment, stay in this space, wriggle around until it gets in between my toes and under my skin. They will never be this way again.