Milestones

It was an amazing, yet overwhelmingly sad day for my mommy self today. After a week of thorough research, a workshop and extensive asking of other mom friends, we started Greyson on solids. It was supposed to be a test of his readiness, and I was told that most of it would land on his face, that he would probably not eat very much of it and that it was just a developmental lesson on eating (vs. nutritional necessity.) In typical Greyson, "jumbo" fashion, he downed the entire bowl of cereal, with very little remaining on his face or hands, in less than 10 minutes. It was incredible to watch my baby whom I had to teach how to latch onto my breast, open his mouth like a little bird spoonful after spoonful, transfer the food effortlessly from the tip of his tongue to the back of his throat. It's a skill we take for granted, but for a little guy his age, it's a milestone.

As if this weren't enough, he's also started to sit up this week. Like a little tripod, he can sit on his own, still a little top heavy, but getting steadier every day. He is very much impressed with the view from the vertical. And as if that wasn't enough, he's also learned to use a sippy cup and when Roque gave him a bottle yesterday, he insisted on holding it himself.

I thought that when Greyson grew up, it would mean a return of freedom for me. Much as I adore being a mom, I sometimes resent my new vocation. It's such a dilemma, hating how much I am needed and yet in despair at any indication of independence. I vacillate between being incredibly proud of him, and being supremely grieved at how fast he's growing up. Look at what my boy can do. Sigh.