Mommy Victories

This has been a week of Mommy Victories for me. To recount them would make them sound trivial, but any new mom would understand what accomplishments they represent.

Tuesday. After Greyson's second nap, I went to the mall and forced myself to stay there through his third nap. Ordinarily, I try and run my errands in the short spurts in between his naps and I'll admit it leads to cabin fever and a lot of speeding on the road. That day, my goal was to do what I wanted, and essentially make him deal with it. It wasn't bad. It did entail me furiously pushing the stroller back and forth in the changing room of Express to get him to quiet down as he went to sleep in his stroller, but when he finally did, he slept for half an hour and I was able to purchase a black T-shirt and sweatpants. The fact that I actually bought something for myself while out with Greyson, is monumental.

Wednesday. My friend Olwyn and I decided to tackle a lunch with the babies. A real lunch, in a restaurant, where we sit inside with other people, order food that takes long to eat and have them bring it to you. We went to Ella's and whilst pushing Patrick's stroller back and forth, feeding Greyson in a high chair, entertaining him with toys, cleaning the toys he punted on the ground, holding him while he fussed, holding Patrick when he woke up....we did it. Olwyn and I even managed to eat dessert. Yes, Greyson was bordering on ballistic by the time we got the check and we had to hurry on out of there, but he was asleep in his stroller within minutes of us walking. We were even able to stroll around a little bit at Laurel Village. Granted, if anyone measured our blood pressure during that lunch, we might have both been off the charts. However, we did it, and I was proud of both of us.

Thursday. I ventured south to my sister's and attempted to put Greyson down in his Pack and Play for a nap at her house. It was a very trying day to say the least. I was exhausted at the end of it. It was lovely to see my darling niece and to be with family. However, the stress of him crying and his crankiness at not having napped well was hard to endure.

It wasn't all pleasant and it wasn't all easy, but I am proud of myself for trying. Hopefully, the more I go out and do "regular stuff" with him, the more having him with me all the time will feel normal to me. It's hard not to mourn the days when a restaurant was a place to enjoy food and leisurely conversation; when a mall was where to go on rainy day and hang out for hours; when a visit to a friend's house didn't have to include the stress of a nap. There's no going backwards with parenthood, it puts you in "fast forward" mode regardless of your readiness. Still, now that he's here, I cannot imagine my life without him. It's not just because he's so responsive and fun to be with now. I've been singing "You are My Sunshine" to Greyson since he was 4 weeks old. I tell people all the time, it's hard not to love something you push out of your vagina. Honestly, how many relationships can you say that about?