Number Four

I ran our car into the front of our garage door today. I had on-site meetings all morning and was rushing home to relieve our babysitter. I stopped the car in the driveway of our building and forgot to put it in "park." Even though the hand brake was up, when Roque and I got out of the car to switch spots, it propelled forward and crunched into our garage door. Thankfully, the door is still working, but the damage is visible and we will have to pay for it.

This is the fourth addition to the series of vehicular mishaps that has plagued me these past few months. In that short time, I've gotten our car towed, gotten a ticket for it, gotten into a fender bender and now this. It's not just with the car, these days my memory is like a sieve. On Monday, I locked me and Greyson out of our house and Roque had to come home from work to let us back in. I bought tofu for Greyson last week and left in our stroller for two days before remembering I'd purchased it. I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience and I don't recognize the incompetent, absent-minded, and disorganized person I've become. I am furious at myself, but I feel helpless to change. I run through life at 100mph 24/7, juggling work, Greyson, household management, nanny-hunting, nanny-training, cooking for Greyson, church, friends, and my marriage. I am in a permanent state of multi-tasking so much so at times I feel downright schizophrenic. I am thankful to be a working mom, and be able to do it from home, but it is harder than having a 9 to 5 office job you can just escape to. I toggle between Mommy mode and professional mode up to 20 times an hour. It's no wonder most days I feel like I'm losing my mind.














Updates on our darling: On Monday he turned 11 months, he wears 18-24 month clothing, size 5 diapers, and weighs 25 lbs or more. He stands supported, kneels, sits with perfect posture (everyone in his music class always asks me where he learned that), and has progressed to dragging himself to places with his back legs behind him, a most unnerving sight. He loves to clap, wave goodbye and hello, and give slobbery kisses. Fav toys: measuring cups, shaker eggs and our cordless phone. He's developed spoon aversion this week and will only eat food that can be fed to him in cubes by hand. He still takes two naps a day and sleeps from 6:45pm till 6:45am. Of course the perennial question is, has it been worth it; this change, this chaos, this loss of self? Absolutely.