Missing Child

Greyson has been a different baby this week. He has a fourth tooth cutting which I can only assume is one of the reasons for his extreme fussiness. He is easily irritated; a toy too far out of reach, a mouthful of food too slow and he is quickly frustrated. My child is definitely not "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry". He is full of opinions. It used to be that his complaints were very straightforward and easy to address: hunger, tiredness, wanting some cuddles. Now it's ambiguous and random like "I'd like my Cheerios in between mouthfuls but before, not after water."

Until yesterday, it was more like "fake crying": no tears just lots of noise. Today, we got hit hard with separation and stranger anxiety. He was upset when I left the room, turned my back or put him down in his stroller. Not just "protesting" upset, "tears-running-down-
his-cheeks" upset. I was at the mall with him with a friend, and he was a bear. He threw tantrums, burst into tears because he wanted to be carried instead of in the stroller, whined when I took dangerous toys away, complained when I was out of sight. I had to take him out and put him in the Ergo. He'd be fine for a while until the sight of an over-friendly salesperson would set him off crying again. I couldn't be more than 5 feet away from him at all times today, and even then, it was pushing it. I was praying down patience from Heaven. When I lie next to Greyson while he's playing, he pays no attention to me, but the second I stand up to leave he yells. It's like he pushes away the one person that he needs the most. When I told Roque that after an exhausting Wednesday, Roque said to me, "That's family." Really, do our screwed up family dysfunctions come into play so early?

Once again, we seem to have misplaced our independent, self-sufficient little boy. This time, having seen him through multiple episodes of schizophrenia, be it due to jet lag, illness or teething, I am confident I will see him again. I know this isn't the real Greyson, and as poor company as he is right now, remembering that helps extend the boundaries of my heart. Here are some photos of our currently missing child. Monday was the last time we saw him.



Photos from our fantabulous Memorial Day weekend. It was a precious get-together of our old crew, reminiscent of our days before kids. You can see baby Olivia in our car seat behind Amy. We missed you, Uncle Arvin. Here are pictures you can download for your blog, Tin. More photos of Greyson in the pool with Mommy this time. I think all those pre-natal swimming classes must have gotten to Greyson in utero, the kid just loves water.