On Our Own

My parents left this week, and we are finally on our own now. Having them around insulated me from the all the scary things in my life; our finances, life with two kids, being a mom so far away from extended family. It was hard to see them go. My mom, especially, has been a fixture in our home for the last two months. There are so many memories, so many things we'll miss: the sound of Ah Ma chopping copious amounts of ginger in the kitchen…."Ah Ma loves the Ella girl..click click"….Ah Ma rocking Ella in her "bouncinett"…"Sentosa baths" with Ah Ma…Ah Ma racing through books with Greyson at nap time "No more Llama Llama!"…Ah Ma boasting the benefits of cordyceps…Ah Ma doing laundry….Ah Ma decapitating the bushes and trees in our garden…late night talks with Ah Ma in her room….Ah Ma nagging me about when I'm ready to eat…Ah Ma reading Psalm 23 with Greyson at breakfast…the sound of Ah Ma's footsteps coming down the hall towards Ella's room…Ah Ma asking me late at night if I want a hot Milo….Ah Ma carrying Ella around Pier 39 in a sling….Ah Ma bleaching the garage floor (yeah, you heard that right).

One of the things my mom did when she was here was go around the house replacing the plastic bags in the trash bins in our bathrooms and Ella's room. How many people would love you enough that they care where your trash lands? Now that she's gone, I keep watching Ella's trash bin fill up and I can't bear to change the bag because it was the last one my mom replaced. When I look at the stunted bushes in our backyard, it makes me smile remembering my mothers zealous commitment to biblical pruning. I'm glad they're there to remind me of her stay.

Ah Ma's come visit before, but she's never stayed for such a long and uninterrupted period in our house. It was an enormous comfort having her around. You don't stop being someone's child, even when you're a mother yourself. I am thankful that my mother is still in this world to worry about me, fuss over me, and love on me the way I love on my children. At the end of the day, she is the only person who will come alongside me and willingly share my burdens. At least my mother is that type of mom. I can only hope Ella and I will have the kind of relationship we have. Greyson and Ella don't know how lucky they were to have had their Ah Ma come take care of them those first two months of their lives when they were each born. They won't even remember her sacrifice. It's my job to make sure they know.